I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I want a musical about memes.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
