Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
