Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
