Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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