I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Dick very happy bro
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
