flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
