Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
