He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
