Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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