I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
