so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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