Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Randomize
