what if every blade of grass was a penis?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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