I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
