if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize