i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You are the jesus of drinking
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize