no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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