I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
