He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
