I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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