He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Houston, we have a squirter
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
that is very illegal...i love you.
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