At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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