he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
