Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
