he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
