I wanna bring you to show and tell
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
