some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
