Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
