the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
