I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
