areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
