So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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