i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
