I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
