we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam đ
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes âI drove you last nightâ\nâYou got your dick sucked in the back seatâ
Randomize