Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize