Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
