You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
