White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
