The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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