I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Randomize
