tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
