problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
