sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
