you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
she pinky promised me she was 18
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
