at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
