Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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