Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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