Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
