I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
