I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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