I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
