If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
