if i can run in heels then i can drive
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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