Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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