Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize
