Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Houston, we have a blender
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
