He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
