Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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