If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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