I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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