HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
