All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
