youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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