I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
