note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
